So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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