Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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