D3 body, D1 cock
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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