I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
