I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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