Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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