So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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