yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
