i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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