you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
