Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
