I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
