I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
