herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
