I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize