i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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