I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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