uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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