I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
