I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
