I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
