So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
