how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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