Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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