Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
