so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
