I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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