that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
40s are totally the cure
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
