I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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