do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
