We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
