the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
