Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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