he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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