whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
