Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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