names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
