Me too!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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