NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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