Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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