I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
