Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
