I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
