She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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