Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
