Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
