your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize