Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize