am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
