SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
