Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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