Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
