I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
