There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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