Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love black thongs
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
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his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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