The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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